Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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