I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
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TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
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we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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