this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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