she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She tied me up with her honor cords...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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