we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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