We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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