She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
