I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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