Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
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he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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