it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
