I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
