His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
