So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
