I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
