I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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