So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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