is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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