I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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