White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
