My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
