who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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