I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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