I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
