shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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