The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
