I like my sex mixed with concussions.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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