Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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