By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
