yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
