I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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