I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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