i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's shark week go big or go home
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
