If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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