it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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