So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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