Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have post one night stand depression
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