Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
