Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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