I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize