I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
