NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
