Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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