i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize