And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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