Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
