the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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