I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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