if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
