Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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