If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
