She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
FUCK WHALES
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