I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
