It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
