I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I could make wine with my vomit
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
