we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i believe in u and ur pee
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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