So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize