I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
