I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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