Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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