Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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